Nearly a couple hours had passed. Frustratingly, sleep refused to come. Lying in the dark, dim lighting from outside seeping into my room, I pondered the possible reasons.
Did I have caffeine?
Did I eat too much? Too little?
Was it not shutting off my ipad within a reasonable time before bed?
I prayed for my family, friends and country, my mind slipping here and there, a sense of anxiousness in my belly. Why? This isn’t like me to feel this way. I talked with God.
Did He want me to get up? Spend some time with Him?
2 I slept but my heart was awake.
Listen! My beloved is knocking:
“Open to me, my sister, my darling,
my dove, my flawless one…
3 I have taken off my robe—
must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet—
must I soil them again?
Song of Songs 5:2-3
It’s warm in bed. Maybe a few more minutes will bring the sleep I crave.
A still, small voice: “Graham crackers and milk? You enjoy that with your boys…”
Hmm… milk might help me sleep. I relish the visions of times past, sharing graham crackers and milk with my boys… graham crackers with God? OK. I’ll get up.
Peering out to the west, small globes of hazy farm and porch lights glow through the chilly fog outside. Quietly, I sneak to the kitchen, search for the crackers, and pour a small glass of milk. Dip, 1… 2… 3… into the mouth. Mmmm. Yes, that’s good.
Drawn to view the foggy atmosphere again, I find my way to the ceiling-high west-facing windows. Gazing at the mysterious darkness, thinking that I am alone, I know in my heart that I am not alone. My Lord is with me. He wanted to spend time with me.
Does the east-facing front window have the same view? Is the sidewalk wet from the mist? I need to check it out. Flipping a switch on the wall, the exterior garage light comes on. Wrong one. Tap off, flip the next one on, and the porch light shines forth. Approaching the window, I am shocked to see a four-by-four buck a couple yards away happily nibbling at my Autumn Stonecrop Sedum – yep, the one that I had previously noticed with its flowers all neatly cropped off. I couldn’t believe the majestic boy hadn’t spooked and run off at the lights going on and off!
I studied him for several minutes, wondering how long he’d stay, how often had he come. There was a doe a few yards away from him, barely visible in the dark. He finally sauntered off, his doe following, and then two more ambled by. Wow!
I know. Is this really a big deal? Deer are common here, but they are still beautiful and marvelous to watch – so quiet and graceful – up-close through the front window. Yes, it’s a big deal. Especially when God Himself won’t allow you sleep so that He can have the opportunity to be with you one-on-one.
I finish my graham crackers and milk, marveling at His goodness, His kindness, His gentleness, His desire to be with me. We visit. I read His word. My eyes get heavy. Quietly slipping back into bed, I sleep.
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”